Self Love through Self Discipline

Ritu Bihani Agarwal
5 min readNov 23, 2020

Cherishing and loving yourself means doing things that are good for your mind, body and soul. While doing these things may go against your innate predilection of leisure and comfort, it definitely helps you to attain a sustained level of happiness. After all isn’t happiness and joyfulness what we all are seeking?

Discipline, will-power and self-control are the key factors to enhance your love and respect for yourself each day. Do things which you consider hard, but important for yourself daily. Sacrificing that extra hour in bed to go for your morning run or yoga will give you a sense of achievement that will help you feel good about yourself the whole day.

The same goes for that piece of cookie or chocolate sitting in your cupboard. When you do not give into your craving and exercise your will-power and choose not to eat that cookie, it may give you a temporary dissatisfaction, but in the long run the gains may be phenomenal which will help you to feel good about your own self.

If you have a fear of public speaking, imagine the moment when you just break your own shell and go all out. Instead of being your usual self and not taking the leap and then regretting it later, just exercise your will power and take the leap. You will feel ecstatic later on. The pain of self-discipline will never be as great as the pain of regret.

Stop making excuses. We all are so good at making excuses. Come out of the cage of your own comfort zone which you have build around you and also decorated with flowers to create an illusion of comfort. Take the road less travelled. Clearly know your goals you wish to achieve over your course of life, be they material, emotional, physical or spiritual and take consistent daily actions.

I agree that not necessarily every working moment will be rewarding or successful, but it will definitely give you a sense of satisfaction and achievement with the progress. Remember my dear friends, you are already a winner once you have taken the first step — the outcome will only make you better and stronger.

I can share my own example with you in this regard. I remember the first video I had ever recorded. There were so many things playing in my mind. How will I look? What if I fumble? What if I mumble? My braces will make me look funny. I don’t have the right equipment etc. etc. I decided that I will not make the video till I am really good at it. I preferred to stay within my comfort zone.

Believe me, it was not comfortable. It kept playing in my mind and did not make me feel good about myself. There was a sense of contraction playing inside me. I said to myself, “This is not who I am. I am much stronger than this.” This thought changed everything. I simply took my phone and made my first video and posted on social media. It was not a great video, but the sense of freedom and achievement that I felt was priceless. I felt like hugging myself. The first few comments and likes that I received were a further validation that my fear was not real. I loved myself so much for that small step.

The self-love you are searching for comes through reflecting on the worthy aim you are dedicated to, and then taking daily action to advance them. Sometimes you may feel pressured. Pressure is not always a bad thing. It can inspire you to achieve great ends. The process of making diamonds primarily involves pressure.

The secret of self love is consistency of purpose. The more you take disciplined effort towards your ambitions, your love and respect for your own being will grow tremendously. Exercise your self-discipline daily, aim for small and manageable changes. It will give you a deep sense of control and self-motivation. Even if you fear that you may fail, remember that failure is essential for you to grow, because it is the experience of failure which provides you lessons and guides you along the path of your evolution.

After all “Every arrow that hits the bull’s eye is the result of one hundred misses.” Did you know that the world’s most famous basketball player, Michael Jordan, missed more than 50% of the throws he took? However, whenever one mentions basketball, the name of Michael Jordan is taken as one of the greatest legends of the sport.

Start to live your life with limitless enthusiasm. Watch the sun rise. Dance in the rain. Be the person you dream of being. Do the things you have always wanted to do but have tricked yourself into believing that you are too old, too young, too rich or too poor. The truth is that “The only limits in your life are those that you set for yourself.”

When you dare to get out of your circle of comfort and do things which you have resisted before, you start to liberate your true human potential. This is the first sign to show that you trust yourself and there by love yourself. Building self-control and discipline into your life brings you a tremendous sense of freedom. Licentiousness is not true freedom but leads to only one result — Disaster.

Use your will power to push your dreams forward, to keep your commitments to others and even most importantly to yourself. Each day build your self-respect.

Loving yourself is absolute freedom and this freedom is like a house. The first brick you should lay is the brick of will power, self-control and discipline. So, build your inner strength by doing the things you don’t like doing, but you know are important. It might be something as simple as making your bed in the morning or stop seeing your mobile one hour before going to bed. By getting into this habit, you will cease to be a slave of your weaker impulses.

Having the courage to say a no to the little things in life which does not bring any good, will give you the courage to say yes to bigger things in life.

Do things that you never knew you were capable of doing with energy and vigor, it’s a delightful process and it will make you fall in love with yourself even more each day. The thousand-mile journey begins by taking the first step.

Self discipline is the DNA for self love.



Ritu Bihani Agarwal

Ritu Agarwal brings you episodes on Mindfulness and Holistic Life. Ritu is a certified Mental Health Practitioner and a Life Coach.