Rituals of Solitude and Stillness

Ritu Bihani Agarwal
5 min readNov 30, 2020


We are all so busy being busy all the time. Either we are talking or doing or watching or eating or seeing or planning or worrying and so on. However, we expect ourselves to be peaceful and joyful. Where does the peace or joy reside? Have you ever actually thought about it? What is the address of peace or joy or bliss or happiness? The place of their residence is nowhere else, but inside of you. It is not somewhere outside in an object or a situation or a person.

Before marrying someone, we take months if not years to take the leap. First we get acquainted, we talk, we meet each other quite often. We try to look good, act good, behave well and be at our best. We do everything required to get to know each other better. Some people move in together to explore the dimension of living together. Some people go as far as to get the genetic test of the other done to know the genetic traits and history of the person. Basically we spend as much time and energy as required to fall in love.

But what do we do to fall in love with the most important person in the world — Yourself?

Solitude, silence and stillness in one of the best practices to know yourself and enter into an everlasting relationship of Self Love.

Now the question comes, how often do you truly spend time with yourself and only with yourself? For most of us we spend a total of zero minutes with ourselves in a day. So how can we expect to live a life with lasting happiness, peace or joy?

True stillness and silence have become foreign to most of us. But once you taste the nectar of true solitude you will enjoy a sense of joyfulness entering your life along with an ability to appreciate the many gifts that surround you. Saying you don’t have time to spend 30 minutes in a day in silence and with your own being is saying you don’t have time to stop for refueling your car because you are busy driving.

Take some time out to cool down the high-performance engine of your mind. Take back control of the fortress of your mind. Your mind will then focus on what you command it to focus on.

Retreat into silence for a few minutes every single day. There are so many ways you can do that. Focus on any object, say for example any flower without your mind wandering over to the other subjects. Keep staring at the object. Notice its color texture and design. Savor its fragrance. Even though in the beginning other thoughts may distract you, you need not worry. Simply return your attention to the object of your focus. Soon your mind will get the hang of it.

In this chaotic world our mind is like an ocean with lot of waves. We are full of inner turbulence. However simply taking the time out to be still and quiet every day, the ocean of our mind becomes smooth. This brings a deep sense of wellbeing, inner peace and boundless energy and makes you fall in love with yourself.

Being in stillness reduces responses in the parasympathetic system, which is responsible for flight or fight and increases responses in the sympathetic system responsible for rest and relaxation. In other words, it calms your mind and you feel more at peace and less stressed out.

When you practice stillness, you learn to silence the bombardment of voices that are trying to tell you how you should be, what you should do, how you should look, things you need in future, and you can easily tap into your intuition to know what is true for you. This brings clarity in your head and your creativity increases. You become better in your interaction with the world around you, your relationship starts improving and you start to take ownership of your life rather than staying as a victim of mindset. In short, you love your own being more.

Spend time alone in nature. Go for a walk. A quick walk through nature or even a few minutes time spent gardening will reconnect you to the wellspring of calm and self-love which may be lying dormant within you. It connects you to your creative source and releases the limitless intelligence of the Universe. You will feel a renewed feeling of balance in your day to day living.

Spending time with yourself nourishes your soul. You will feel a deep sense of inner harmony as well as physical energy. You become aware that there is a higher power at work in the world and your story is a part of a much larger story that is unfolding. You achieve infinite freedom as you connect to your true self. When you invest in yourself and start to devote yourself to raise your mind, body and character to their highest level, you will feel as if you have a personal navigator inside you helping you lead a fulfilling and wholesome life.

Stillness is the stepping stone to connect with the universal source of intelligence that throbs through every living thing. This involves nothing more than ensuring that your daily schedule includes a mandatory period of spending time with yourself, silently and mindfully. Explore the healing power of silence and fall in deep love with yourself.

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Ritu Bihani Agarwal

Ritu Agarwal brings you episodes on Mindfulness and Holistic Life. Ritu is a certified Mental Health Practitioner and a Life Coach.